Identity revisited

I was recently interviewed for The Former Lawyer Podcast, and it was a surreal and cool experience.

It was surreal because I listened to this podcast regularly when I was a lawyer trying to figure out what to do next with my life. 

And it was cool because the host, Sarah Cottrell, asked great questions that allowed me to reflect on my decisions to become a lawyer and then leave the law.

In The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah interviews former lawyers with the goal of helping current lawyers who want to change careers.

I highly recommend it to anyone who's unhappy in their current profession, especially if you struggle (as I do) with anxiety or other mental illness. Sarah and her guests talk openly about mental health in a thoughtful, action-oriented way.

Being on the podcast reminded me of a newsletter I wrote a little while ago about my identity shift from "lawyer" to "business owner" and "personal trainer." 

I said that the key to changing your identity is mental buy-in. If you want to be a "gym person," then think of yourself as a gym person and do the things a gym person would do. 

I still think that's true.

But my conversation with Sarah made me realize that one of the things I struggle with most is my desperate need to have an identity in the first place. 

When I left the law, I could no longer think of myself as a lawyer, so I had to fit myself into a different category.

An alternative approach would be to think of myself as a person who has many interests and abilities and isn't defined by any one of them.

This approach would allow for mental flexibility and reduced friction when making life decisions.

If I see myself as a full person, I don't always need to ask, "Would a business owner do this?" I can instead ask, "Do I want to do this and does it fit with my values?" This is a question I can actually answer in a meaningful way.

So, I'm going to work on seeing myself as more than "a business owner" or any other one thing.

If you're finding it hard to start something new (like an exercise routine!) you might consider whether your identity is getting in the way. And, if it is, what it would mean to let go of identity entirely.